My life had stopped on the day I lost my daddy: January 16th, 1993. I had been this happy little girl, full of dreams, and now I was this little orphan girl that attracted so much pity. That became my dysfunction right there: pity.
I had a loving family. I went to great schools. I excelled. I led at every level. I grew a little taller :), I even started to look more like a woman. But deep down, more than 10 years later, I was still just an orphaned girl who had no hope and needed pity.
I couldn’t grow past that girl unless I let her go.
It was easier to think and act as the orphaned girl. I could blame everyone but myself for all the mistakes I made, for all the missed opportunities…I could blame someone. If I grew up, then I would have to take responsibility for my actions and my life.
So, without even consciously thinking about it, I became stuck.
If someone came along and tried to ask me to grow up, I saw them as mean and horrid: to me, they simply lacked understanding and didn’t know what I had gone through. Poor little old me. Right?
I didn’t want anyone to take away my dysfunction.
This is the only way I knew how to function, and it worked perfectly because I used it as a hiding place. But I was STUCK! I could not go past the me in my mind.
What have you used to define yourself?
What thing in your past are you still holding onto? Sometimes we get stuck on a good thing, but most times it’s the negative stuff: If they loved me more. If only I had this or the other, if only I was born in my neighbor’s family, maybe if I was a girl…
Maybe you were abused growing up, and you have to deal with the un-imaginable painful scars that has left. I am not minimizing the horror of your pain and loss and tragedy.
I am just saying I know that you are more than your past. You are greater than your pain. You were created to rise above it. To overcome it, and to live life fully. But first you must decide to get unstuck.
See yourself as a partner with God. He has wonderful plans for you, but He cannot go past your limitations. He can use anything we give Him: we have to give it to Him. Make a choice today to live fully.
The truth is no one person on earth has EVERYTHING, but we ALL have SOMETHING. For some reason, we focus on what we do not or did not have, and fail to see the incredible blessings we have.
I didn’t have biological parents, but I had a wonderful extended family that sacrificed so much to take care of us. They were and still are far from perfect like every family, but they did their best and they loved us. They gave us an education. They gave us homes, food, dignity.
However, for a broken person, nothing is enough. There are always holes through which the resources keep seeping through.
Beyond your birth name, what name have you taken on as your identity?
Slow learner, Loose, Mean, generous, Casanova, Introvert, Extrovert, Friendly, Unfriendly,Orphan, Loveable, Hard to love, Rich, Poor, Victim, Powerless, Powerful, Confused, …
If you want lasting change, never start by changing your actions. Start with changing your thinking.
Your belief system will either be your limitation or your advantage.
Do not underestimate your opinion of yourself. Other people’s opinions are only empowered by your opinion.
Instead of spending time meditating on what others think of you, spend time thinking about what you think of yourself.
Today, let’s take time to think about the blessings in our lives. Name them. Then, take time and think about the labels that must go for you to be unstuck, and break those barriers down.
Get unstuck. Start speaking differently about yourself.
Grow up 🙂
PS: If you have a question or comment, please leave it in the comment section 🙂
See you tomorrow for the FINAL post in this series… #Excited!